As you can imagine, I’ve/we’ve been pretty busy in the last month or so.

Moving was…well, somewhat of a nightmare.  But we pushed through–and made it!  We could’ve never done it without the help of my loving parents.  I’m so grateful for ALL the things they did for us and the hours and hours (and HOURS) they spent helping us pack/move/clean/100 other things.  It took us FOUR days to get from Arkadelphia to Little Rock with all our belongings.  The U-haul? Should’ve been twice as big.  Our stuff?  We should’ve given twice as much to the Beehive, I guess.  We finally pulled up to our new house (for the last time from Arky) at 4:00 on Monday afternoon.  (Moving started on Friday morning around 8 & never stopped the whole weekend/Monday.)  I had to start my new job the next morning!!  I was pretty stressed, to say the least.  Leave it to the sweetest Jennie in the world to show up with pizza & coke and her heart & hands ready to help that night.  :)  With her amazing help, we really got a lot done in only a matter of a few hours!  Since then, it’s been slow-going.  Doug is working at night right now so he can keep Elisabeth in the day.  It’s close to impossible for him to be able to get anything done (turn your back for 30 seconds, and she’s gotten into everything!!)…and then, when i get home from work, i’m too tired to do much of anything.  These days, I’ve been running errands EVERY night–so it’s 1) pull in the driveway 2) grab a diaper bag and E 3) pull out of the driveway (with doug right behind me, going to work)…we need a BREAK!  :)

we’ll get a semi-break/fun time this weekend when we have Elisabeth’s SECOND birthday party!! :)  She turned two on Wednesday!  I really wish i could’ve spent the day with her and Doug (had to work)…but i think she had a great time that day–Doug and a friend of his took her to the zoo!  my sister, Sarah, even got to go for part of the time.  that night we went out to eat & then we took her to toys ‘r us.  what fun!!  we picked out some really perfect toys to give her for her birthday (at her party on sat.)

i have to get to work now…will write another update sooner than last time, i hope!  :)

BOY!!!  We’re having a little boy! I’m still pinching myself, for Doug and I both thought we might be having another girl.  We are soooo very excited and grateful to welcome Charles Spencer into our little family!  (He’ll go by Spencer, my maiden name–I think I’ve said that before!)  :)

I’ll be hoping and praying even more now that I will NOT develop preeclampsia this time.  Did you know that caucasian males have the hardest time fighting for their precious lives when they arrive really early?  I learned this in the NICU after Elisabeth was born–all the nurses call them their little “whimpies.” 

Also, we (FINALLY) secured a place to live!  We found a perfect little place on Wednesday, and our references/applications were approved yesterday afternoon!  I cannot tell you how relieved I feel knowing we are not moving to Little Rock to live on the STREETS.  :)  We’ll go to LR again on Saturday for a few things, one of those being to sign the lease (and to take measurements/photos!)…and another to possibly register at Babies ‘R Us! i’m so excited to look at little boy things. :)

as most of you know, we are moving to little rock!  after months of thinking and talking about it, we’re finally DOING it.  the bottom line is that we really need more income…and getting that in this town is close to impossible.  also, doug still really wants to be a missionary in india someday soon–to reach that “goal,” we have several bills that need to be paid first. 

i’m starting to get PRETTY nervous since it’s, oh JUNE NINTH, and we don’t have a place to live yet.  (we’re moving there the weekend of the 27th, by the way, for me to start my new job as medical transcriptionist at Youth Home on the 30th.) 

not to mention?  we’re still waiting for a job for doug, too…

not to mention?  we don’t know what we’ll do about childcare–at least, temporarily. (my parents, unbelievably, are almost positive they’re moving to LR, too!! and want to continue to take care of Elisabeth.  AH-MAY-ZING.)

the past few months have been really tough–trying to sort out everything, fighting with the Lord on whether or not I can trust Him (WHAT is my deal?!)…i’m so grateful for this time, though, because this test of faith/trust has caused me to seek Him more than i have in a long time.

we find out on wednesday if Elisabeth will have a baby brother or sister. i’m very excited! we have a name for a boy (Charles Spencer–go by Spencer, my maiden name)…but if she’s a girl, we’ve got some thinking to do! i really hope to find a name that means faith or trust.  perhaps a middle name of Faith, but i’m not sure.

we’re going to get to look at three more houses for rent on wednesday, so perhaps at least ONE of those will work!!…

i’ll update later this week with all our happy news! :)

this is on my tear-off calendar today:

Why is now the best time to express love? Because you don’t know how long you will have the opportunity. Circumstances change. People die. Children grow up. You have no guarantee of tomorrow. If you want to express love, you had better do it now.

i’m sooooooooooooooooooooooo ready to know what’s going to happen in our lives in the next few months.  i’ve about driven myself crazy (on a daily basis) going through want ad after want ad (jobs/homes)…still no leads.  still no direction.  still no ANSWERS. 

i keep feeling like i’m going about things all wrong.  and then it hit me: the other day i realized, “my word, rebekah. if only you were praying even 1/2 as much as you have been worrying and looking online for leads.”  oh dear.

and you know, i hope He will tell SOMEONE soon…if not me (or Doug), someone!!  i mean, He surely will, right?  there’s faith, and then there’s the fact that we have brains.  for example, i have been looking for homes, but what do i think–that we should move first THEN find jobs??  hardly seems like the right order of things, does it? 

it’s so hard not to become depressed when i think about my (and doug’s) “qualifications.”  yes, we both have college degrees, but they are in biblical/christian studies.  enough said??  i used to be so comforted by a statement one of my professors made when i was in school, “you may find that others question your choice of major: why biblical studies?  what can that do for you?  well, the answer may be not what it can do for you, but what it can/will do to you.”  that sounds great and all…but it certainly doesn’t pay the bills.  hence the depression.  yikes.  i DO need to have more faith (and pray a LOT more), that much is certain. 

all i really want to be able to do is just stay at home with Elisabeth–and soon, Baby #2, as well.  i’m not sure how that could possibly happen, but perhaps it might.  :)  i will try to remain hopeful!

what a weekend!

saturday:

• 8:30 help with commencement preparations (time for another graduation ALREADY?!)
• 10:00 E and i leave for Little Rock (two words: PAPER SALE! $1 per pound/paper!!!)
• 1:00 Jennie (yay!), E and i get in line after a thorough examination of the paper, plates/napkins (i couldn’t have shopped without sweet Jennie’s help–E was quite the fuss-budget with no nap!!)
• 1:10 spend a whopping $22.67 (!!!) on a HAUL of cute, cute, cute paper, cards/envelopes, plates/napkins
• 1:30 go to sam’s for the “cheap” gas (pathetic that cheap gas=$3.55/gal) and search for an at&t store to buy a car charger…really need my cell phone for the rest of the day and battery is very d-e-a-d.
• 2:15 finally get to rachel & harry’s and see my beautiful 3 1/2 week old niece, AnnMarie
• 2:45 spontaneous photo shoot of the cousins! PERFECT to frame for Mother’s Day gift for Mom the next day!  (well, after cropping out the horrendous, blaring yellow date.)  :)

i can’t believe how beautiful and precious AnnMarie is–it even looks like she’s smiling here! E is being awfully greedy with the stuffed animals. :)

AnnMarie was getting really bored with the photo shoot & Elisabeth’s kisses. :)

by far, my favourite out of the 15 photos we snapped.  AnnMarie was actually crying, but it looks like she is laughing with her cousin here! :)  i love it. i love THEM. together.

• 4:00 arrive at sarah’s apartment
• 5:00 FINALLY leave LR after loading poor Quigley, Sarah’s dog, into the very back-end of my van (not to mention all of sarah’s belongings for her ten ONE night visit to arkadelphia)
• 6:00 drop off sarah at mom & dad’s and head home. once again, FINALLY.
• 7:15 start to try to get E to sleep (after a day of no naps–well, hardly–you would think it would be a breeze, right?!)
• 9:00 WRONG. E finally goes to sleep. oh.my.WORD. nightmare city.
• 10:00 collapse. :)

sunday:

• 6:30 or 7:00 wake up to sweet doug’s mother’s day gifts AND anniversary presents (yes, they were on the same day!) my favourite part? Elisabeth bringing me “her” card. :)
• 9:00 getting ready…doug for WORK (BAH!!) :( and me & E for church.
• 10:00 work/church
• 11:30 leave with mom, dad, sarah, E, once again the quigster in the back…for another little rock trip.
• 12:30 meet rachel, harry and annmarie at mimi’s cafe–LOVED IT! (wait was 2 hours, though. we only had to wait 1 hour b/c we were driving for part of that time, but WOW.)
• 4:00ish after dropping off sarah and the pooch, leave for arkadelphia
• 5:00 get home
• 5:45 doug and i leave for little rock (NO, I AM NOT KIDDING) to go on an anniversary date. :)  felt terrible for “dumping” E on my mom/dad (it was still mother’s day, after all!)…but they sweetly insisted. i’m glad. 6 years, after all, is a big deal!  :)  6 is my fav. number, so i’m guessing that means this year will be AMAZING.  :)  although, technically, we’re now on our 7th year.  which is just as nice, i suppose.  :)
• 7:00 see made of honor. loved it.  really, really, really cute.  :)
• 9:30 we’re old geezers and too tired to do anything else. GO HOME.  :)

THE END.

did anyone make it through this entire (mostly boring?!) play-by-play of my weekend?  my goodness.

please help us, God. PLEASE.

i’m so afraid and worried, and crying out to you in tears.

please show us what to do. please help us to know what to do.

i feel so desperate. and helpless. and antsy.

but You are greater than all these things.

i may not know, but You know every penny we need and owe…

i may not know, but You know where we need to/will live and work…

Father, may the peace that passes my understanding guard my heart and mind which truly are in Jesus.

This recent postcard on PostSecret is one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen.

Ever.