Kiss the Girl

April 8, 2008 at 2:02 pm | Posted in disturbing, emotions, random | 7 Comments

This recent postcard on PostSecret is one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen.



Baby Biting

July 6, 2007 at 8:53 am | Posted in disturbing, random | 6 Comments

I’ll often catch myself saying to Elisabeth, “I’m gonna eat you up!” because 

You know what I mean–you see little toes, and you just want to chew on them…or take a little chunk right outta the meaty rolls on those precious legs.

NO, I haven’t turned into a cannibal.  This is all said in jest, and usually in a very strange, high-pitched voice (that GRATES on my husband’s nerves).  :)

WELL…sadly, this guy really did chomp down.  :(  And I have a feeling he wasn’t doing it because the precious, poor little baby girl is so cute.

Reference this post–if I were in charge, these two would definitely be in the same hell-level.  :(


June 29, 2007 at 9:12 am | Posted in disturbing, emotions, random | 10 Comments

been thinkin a lot about fear lately.  although perfect love drives away fear, i am but human and have a lot of them.  (fears, that is.)  i am thankful for His grace and love that, by His Spirit, frequently snap me back into rational thinking.  just for kicks, though…

a bit vulnerable (and almost completely irrational), here are some of my fears:

  • whenever i see one of the employees from computer services, i’m afraid they’re judging me because they know how much time i spend online at work.
  • spiders.  every single time i come in or go out of my house, i quickly scan the doorframe for them.  i usually look for them on the ceiling/wall before i go to sleep.  when i see them, yes, i hate them, but i guess my main fear is that one will be ON me without me knowing it.
  • this one is really weird and gross, and i have never put it in writing before…when i was younger (and i STILL think about it–probably more than once a week), i used to be afraid that when i went to the bathroom (usually #2), i would be flushed down the toilet and land in a huge pile of waste in a dark cavern…where a witch would be waiting for me to cook me in her waste soup.  no, i’m not kidding.  how messed up am i???
  • one of my biggest fears has always been that i will miscarry or have a stillborn baby.
  • since i was a teenager, i have feared a masked intruder breaking in the house to violently kill my family and me.  (he/they always save me, in my bed, for last.)  too many movies, i guess.
  • i’m afraid i’m going to end up like gilbert grape’s momma.
  • i have a terrible fear sometimes, when i’m driving, that a semi will crash into the car & kill everyone in it but me.

OKAY: is this my own personal postsecret?  i think i’ll stop here.

i’m doing it again; it’s easy and fun

May 17, 2007 at 1:09 pm | Posted in baby, birthdays, disturbing, entertainment | 10 Comments
  • why melinda?  why couldn’t it have been jordan?  L  bummer.  at least that cutie, beatboxin blake, made the cut.  J

  • some recent search engine terms (i love these!): pain + sadness, kangaroo live birth (WHAT?!), all you need is love + noter (noteR??), flixers (i thought i made up this word?), down under, rebeekah (yikes!), and—my favourite really recent ones—commando and going commando

  • which leads me to say, citizen D, the reason i said “for girls only” is not only because it’s a semi-embarrassing topic, but also—you said it yourself!!  guys (especially ones who wear boxers) going commando is not as big of a deal as girls doing it!  at least, i sexistly think so.  J

  • i’m trying to decide on a party theme for E’s first birthday.  i’ve been thinking about the little nicknames we call her—precious lamb, angel, pumpkin, etc.  but i don’t know about going with any of those.  (besides, pumpkins in july?)  i love the whole ladybugs or butterflies or whatever type theme, but those seem so over-done.  i thought about doing a party at the park by our house…but oh for the HEAT in mid-July.  then i thought about doing a party at the arkadelphia aquatic park (i.e. glorified swimming pool)…but that would mean bathing suits.  um, not too fun for the grown ups!  (at least, most of us.)  okay, so i need some help—any suggestions?

sadness and pain

April 19, 2007 at 9:25 am | Posted in disturbing | 5 Comments

i’ve been hoping one of you would write something about the tragedy at Virginia Tech.  i feel the subject is so heavy and sensitive that, in typing even these few words, i am fearful of error or thoughtlessness.

i will just say my heart has been so sad.  so sad for the students’ and teachers’ friends and family, for the members of all the communities of which they were a part, for the thousands and thousands of individuals attending, employed by and connected to the university.  what happened is so shocking to me, one so disconnected from the state and school and victims–that i cannot imagine how those who are close and connected must feel.  i wonder if, when they wake up each day and breathe in their first breath, they feel light and free and almost happy…and then (of course) their first thought enters their mind, and they remember their reality–that’s it not a nightmare, as they had hoped–and they are bombarded by wrenching pain so intense they feel it physically throughout their entire body.

and i’ve been sad for cho’s family, too.  his hard-working father and mother, his academically successful sister–i cannot imagine the layers of pain they must be feeling, surely mingled with embarrassment and guilt.  i have tried to picture the response of his relatives in S. Korea, upon hearing the news…knowing a little of the Korean culture, i cannot imagine how on display those relatives must feel, so condemned and looked down on by all who know what their grandson or nephew did.

may the Lord continue to give grace and peace.

Suffer Ye Little Children

April 11, 2007 at 1:17 pm | Posted in disturbing, random | 4 Comments

so i have been bored out of my MIND lately (from 8-5)…you would think i could have been posting during this slow time??  i get blogger’s block all the time, not to mention i can’t think of any interesting subjects to discuss.

one random (not pg-rated) thought:

  • i’ve been disturbed all day by a local news report i saw this morning: a 19 year old male has been accused of raping a two year old little girl (who has now died, so he’s also accused of manslaughter).  how exactly does one get to such a low point that he/she would commit a heinous crime as this?  i realise we all have faults–there is not one who is blameless, no, not one–but RAPING A BABY… sometimes i wish there really were different levels of hell.  good thing i’m not God, or we would all be there in some form, i suppose, myself included.  this whole thing makes me think about a song i love by sufjan stevens: in singing about john wayne gacy, jr. (the clown killer who lured and killed little boys and then buried them under his house), he says, “and in my best behaviour, i am really just like him.”  i love that.  it’s hard, but i love it.  if you’ve never heard the song, you can listen to a little clip here.

Blog at
Entries and comments feeds.