please help us, God. PLEASE.
i’m so afraid and worried, and crying out to you in tears.
please show us what to do. please help us to know what to do.
i feel so desperate. and helpless. and antsy.
but You are greater than all these things.
i may not know, but You know every penny we need and owe…
i may not know, but You know where we need to/will live and work…
Father, may the peace that passes my understanding guard my heart and mind which truly are in Jesus.
did you see dolly parton on ai last night? loved her. plastic surgery (i.e. face DESTRUCTION–what was she thinking?!) aside, she is so precious. couldn’t believe american idol producers allowed someone to get on there and sing about Jesus so much, but after all, she is dolly. :)
i haven’t written about silly ai in a while, so i thought i would share my fav. list, etc.
girls: LOVE carly, syesha (“she’s not SHYesha, that’s for sure!”–maybe my favourite quote from dolly on tuesday night’s show), and brooke. in that order. but my love for brooke is fading–she’s kind of weird?
boys: LOVE them all. order? jason castro tied with michael johns, then david arch., then david cook. i seriously think it’s the most talented group ai has ever seen in their top whatever.
i even–ahem–asked doug if, for my birthday, we could go see them in concert this summer…ridiculous, i know. :)
Yes, for those of you who do not already know, Elisabeth is going to be a big sister! Surprise! The due date is pretty far down the road, but what good is a secret if I can’t share? :)
We’re really excited, scared poopless…all of the above. I feel a lot better due to my doctor’s appointment last week and am much more calm (i.e. not freaking out every second) about the idea of me getting preeclampsia again.
If I get it, I get it.
How comforting to know that there is nothing I can do (or not do) to keep that nasty disease far away from me and baby. (In other words, I can’t say with guilt in retrospect, “Oh, if I would’ve only done ___ or not done ____. Because preeclampsia is truly a thing that can affect any type of preg woman. Period.)
I knew this already, but I always like to hear things from the doctor’s mouth. He said if we were in Vegas and people were betting on whether or not I would get it again, they would be betting against the odds. :) I thought that was a funny–but positive–way of putting things. I’ll take it.
So, in (early) preparation, we bought a new minivan!! :) I LOVE IT. My youngest sister (about to pop any day with HER new baby) works for cars.com and knows all the car dealers in central arkansas…needless to say, we got a GREAT deal.
Our next big step is…a new JOB for Doug (maybe for me–but just through the summer!)and a new HOME. Remember a few paragraphs up when I wrote that I wasn’t freaking out every second about the preeclampsia stuff? Well, yeah, that’s because I’ve been too busy stressing my brains out over THESE issues. Unless the Lord provides something that pays enough here in Arkadelphia (translate: a MIRACLE), we are convinced we’ll have to move…I keep pushing for Little Rock, but Doug is not a huge fan of that idea.
That said, my Little Rock (and nearby) friends, if you have ANY suggestions, I am all ears!! And nose and mouth and head and heart and everything else. That doesn’t make sense now that I’ve typed it, but it did in my mind. Whatever.
The due date is a little far down the road, but not THAT far!! We’ve got to act soon…
Thanks for any thoughts and suggestions!
Love from Rebekah
so today i decided to drive-through arby’s to get lunch for me & my parents. my hopes were not high as far as time goes because 1) there is always a long line and 2) they are extremely slow.
what a nice surprise, then, when i pulled right up to the speaker–only one car ahead of me (already at the window)! as usual, i had a hard time communicating with the person on the other end of the speaker. (does anyone else have this consistent problem? maybe this is due to how softly i usually speak, but i swear sometimes i have to give my order about three or four times.) whatever. after that torturous few minutes, i pulled forward to the window…
and came face to face with the sweetest-faced girl whose eyes were so bright and shiny. we literally couldn’t stop smiling at each other and looking deeply into one another’s eyes. i loved her instantly, you know?
and isn’t that amazing how that happens sometimes? it’s so rare, but when it does…it’s magical. and other-worldly, almost. and i’m left in awe of a God Who created us to be such emotional and complex beings who are able to connect on inexplicably deep levels with simply one look. (no, i’m not female seeking female now. i just re-read the last few sentences or so, and i guess it sounds like i was waxing of a “love at first sight” experience.)
i haven’t been able to get this encounter out of my head. i don’t WANT to.
when she came back to the window to hand me my food, i (HAD to say something and) said, “you are so sweet.” (how cheesy, but what else could i say? certainly not everything else i’ve already written here.) she replied, “you are so sweet, too! you are the sweetest person who has driven through here all day since i got to work this morning.” without thinking, i said, “well, you are an angel.” (WHAT?! do i normally call people–other than my husband or daughter–an ANGEL?) and she just looked at me and said so genuinely, “come back and see me some time. my name is roxeen.” (sp? her nametag was unfortunately covered. i would’ve asked about the spelling, but there was someone behind me.) so i stuck out my hand for a shake and told her my name, too.
and then drove away.
from roxeen, the angel.
i kind of want to see her again, but selfishly i kind of don’t want to, too. unless i happen to go to arby’s again, and she happens to be working the window at that same moment, i think i will just keep this encounter locked up inside in a little memory package that i can occassionally open and re-wrap.
p.s. guess what? i have no IDEA how long it took for my food. it didn’t matter today.
i have neglected writing for far too long, so today i decided i’m going to try to post more frequently. there are many topics on which i wish to write…london, the near future/job plans/etc., my sister moving back to australia, my stationery business…the list goes on and on. but to make things easier on myself, i thought i would start simply posting some photos of E–something completely effortless and that which consumes my entire heart and being. p.s. sorry for the “thumbnail” views; i do not have the patience or time right now to resize these photos.
doug claims he caught this shot of her by chance, but he really is an amazing photographer. in fact, all the photos below minus one were taken by him. i cannot even get over this photo–how big she is, how cute & cool she looks while walking, the beginnings of a sly little smile, her tiny pointed gathering of hair that unfortunately makes her look like squiggy (was that his name?) from laverne & shirley…anyway, i love this photo.
in this one, i think she looks exactly like me when i was a baby. i wish i had one of me to scan in and show you, but i am at work (–ahem–) and am trying to get this sucker published. she’s so genuinely serious and pensive sometimes, and this photo really captures that side of her.
this is a cute little pic. i love the angle, and that the word “grace” is perfectly yet clumsily positioned above her. (that’s her middle name.)
um, what a little miss. once again, so serious. and once again, amazing angle, doug! even though she looks a wee bit tired, i’m glad we got a good picture of her in this cute little outfit.
what a face. i think she had had enough of daddy’s snapping at this point. sometimes she’s such a ham in front of the camera, but this morning (before church) was obviously not one of those times! her intense eyes and little semi-pursed lips just slay me.
and…my favourite photo right now. her auntie Kellie took this about a week ago–i think she may have even taken it on a phone! E is wearing my mom’s hat and Kellie’s scarf. too funny. :) i first saw the picture when Kellie sent it to me by phone with the message, “hey babe. nice toof.” on a sadder note, we said bye bye to “Kel-Kah” on saturday; she has returned home to australia now. talk about a sad airport scene. i haven’t
cried sobbed that hard in a very long time.
since i haven’t written in over two months, i thought i would write a few words. (and, i am in london right now, after all. when will i have the chance to write from london again?)
london. what to say? full of life, all things busy and fast, more things to do and see than there would ever be time to complete. samuel johnson once said, ‘when you are tired of london, you are tired of life.’ well spoken. doug and i have really crammed quite a bit into this week: mary poppins and spamalot, tons of pubs and cafes and yummy street stands, bookstores and other stores (including the all-famous ridiculously unbelievable harrods), buckingham palace and today kensington palace, portobello road market, high tea this afternoon and evensong tonight at westminster abbey, the tower of london, tower bridge, a cruise on the thames, st. paul’s, the london aquarium…there’s really too much to name in the 2 minutes remaining i have on this computer.
i love london. i do. i fell in love with it instanteously when i came two years ago.
but home does call. ARKANSAS calls. did i ever think i would feel this way? definitely no. but arkansas is home. my family and friends are there. most importantly, my BABY is there. i–we–have missed her tremendously. i got to talk to her on the phone yesterday for the first time.
oops. time’s up.
OF MY YOUNGEST–AND EXTREMELY TALENTED & ENTERTAINING–SISTER, RACHEL.
I’M THRILLED!! :)