one a month

August 25, 2008 at 11:52 am | Posted in baby, emotions, prayers, random | 7 Comments

Well, i guess that’s what it’s come down to–one post per month. :(

better than none at all, i suppose!  i certainly miss the blogging world…facebook…”surfing”…gone are the days of internet freedom! (and time to do ANYTHING non work-related)

it’s really hard to believe i’ve been here at my new job for eight weeks.  i still wish, probably even more, that i could be a stay-at-home-mom.  with the new baby really on the way (i’ll be 29 weeks on wednesday!)…i keep thinking about how i’m going to feel leaving not one baby but two (and one being a very baby newborn, at that)–even if i am leaving them with my mom & dad.  i’m so grateful, please know, but it’s still so hard.  and one of the things i cannot get used to w/my new job is a 30 minute lunch break. (YIKES!)  there’s no way i’ll be able to nurse the new baby unless my mom were to bring him up here every day–and even that would be rushing. :(  and as far as a maternity leave is concerned??  if i have the baby in october, i will have two–COUNT THEM, TWO–paid maternity days.  i’m not joking.  and i apologize for this stream-of-consciousness type post, but this is a very small reflection of my mind these days!!  i’m trying not to worry, but i find myself constantly going to things like “how will i even afford to take off ONE week of work once the baby is born??” (and considering i’ll be having a c-section again & will be told i need to be off work for 6 weeks, this is terrifying.)  these are terrible questions, but i have to face them.  the day is soon!  as most of you know/remember, Elisabeth came at 30 weeks.  i’ve been praying all along, though, that i would make it to at least 36 weeks with Spencer.  :)  and i have so much hope that will happen.  regardless, i trust the Lord completely and know that no matter when Spencer is born, the Lord continues to be completely in control.  i must keep repeating that to myself.  He owns the cattle on a thousand hills.  (i always think of this in the mornings on the way to work, as i pass several small farms!)  surely He can provide for me to be off work with a new baby.  :)

you all are great to read these ramblings!

my 30 minutes is up.